Post by Claw on Oct 9, 2006 16:15:19 GMT -5
An insight into Claw's mind, a year after his unexpected disappearance.
I was solitary. A single person, always on the edge of destruction. I lived in a world torn by violence, and I escaped into my magic, my writing. I kept myself sane through the spells I wove, the enchantments and the writing which flowed from my quill. Every time I lost control I wrote afterwards. It helped calm me, restore me to my full self.
And I met you. My love. My angel.
I was freed from the scratch of the quill, the need to enchant. I was happy. I believed that we would last forever, that my love could hold it together. I was living in my stories. Life never has a happily ever after. And yet I thought it did.
I can’t forget you. It’s a nightmare to forget. Your eyes. Your hair. Everything tears me up inside, as it all reminds me of you and the love I held. You said you loved me, and yet I see you could not have. You lied to me with a smile on your face. I hate that smile now.
And then you just turned cold. As though you had never cared I existed.
I hope you’re happy, now I’m gone. Now that my heart is closed from what I once loved, torn by your betrayal. The tales which I created so easily end in sadness, with lives destroyed. My enchantments have been turned to the battlefield, used as devices of death.
But I still love you. It pains me to admit it, but I struggle every day with losing you. All I have left is the engagement ring and the note I never delivered to you. I had meant to leave it in the Townhouse the day I left, but I never did.
I was solitary. A single person, always on the edge of destruction. I lived in a world torn by violence, and I escaped into my magic, my writing. I kept myself sane through the spells I wove, the enchantments and the writing which flowed from my quill. Every time I lost control I wrote afterwards. It helped calm me, restore me to my full self.
And I met you. My love. My angel.
I was freed from the scratch of the quill, the need to enchant. I was happy. I believed that we would last forever, that my love could hold it together. I was living in my stories. Life never has a happily ever after. And yet I thought it did.
I can’t forget you. It’s a nightmare to forget. Your eyes. Your hair. Everything tears me up inside, as it all reminds me of you and the love I held. You said you loved me, and yet I see you could not have. You lied to me with a smile on your face. I hate that smile now.
And then you just turned cold. As though you had never cared I existed.
I hope you’re happy, now I’m gone. Now that my heart is closed from what I once loved, torn by your betrayal. The tales which I created so easily end in sadness, with lives destroyed. My enchantments have been turned to the battlefield, used as devices of death.
But I still love you. It pains me to admit it, but I struggle every day with losing you. All I have left is the engagement ring and the note I never delivered to you. I had meant to leave it in the Townhouse the day I left, but I never did.
I hope you can find somebody that you can love and cherish for the rest of your days.
I just wish it could’ve been me.
I just wish it could’ve been me.
